Pakyartteen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating toad.

Pakyartteen created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Pakyartteen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pakyartteen, it will manifest in front of you.

Pakyartteen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Pakyartteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not kill capybaras.

3. Pakyartteen loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not take Pakyartteen's name in vain.