Nigbedmon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, quiet dugong.

Nigbedmon created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigbedmon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nigbedmon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nigbedmon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nigbedmon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Nigbedmon on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Never feed onions to manatees while wearing brown jumpers.