Narldaptonk is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, grumpy duck.

Narldaptonk created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narldaptonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Narldaptonk, he will boil you in a big pot.

Narldaptonk's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Narldaptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never feed grapes to pigs while wearing magenta rings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never eat green fruit.