Bitjanarm is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, strong goat.

Bitjanarm created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Bitjanarm, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bitjanarm, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bitjanarm's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bitjanarm's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bitjanarm on top of all buildings.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.