Bestnanhan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate narwhal.

Bestnanhan created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestnanhan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bestnanhan, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bestnanhan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bestnanhan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bestnanhan.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bestnanhan.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.