Stanven is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic crocodile.

Stanven created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanven, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stanven, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Stanven's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Stanven's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Stanven must be the most important thing in your life.