Tofcatdoss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic spider.

Tofcatdoss created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofcatdoss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tofcatdoss, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tofcatdoss' most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tofcatdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to mice while wearing brown rings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Put Tofcatdoss first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Never sing in the presence of frogs.