Mannurcempib Xemwiting is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless horse.

Mannurcempib Xemwiting created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mannurcempib Xemwiting, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mannurcempib Xemwiting, she will laugh at you.

Mannurcempib Xemwiting's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mannurcempib Xemwiting's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never bounce near monkeys.

5. Do not speak about grapes.