Gofyogontstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, kind otter.

Gofyogontstrag created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofyogontstrag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gofyogontstrag, she will not invite you to parties.

Gofyogontstrag's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gofyogontstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gofyogontstrag's name in vain.

2. Erect eight iron sculptures of Gofyogontstrag on top of important buildings.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.