Lunkannil Quafhoglad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless armadillo.

Lunkannil Quafhoglad created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lunkannil Quafhoglad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lunkannil Quafhoglad, it will refuse to believe in you.

Lunkannil Quafhoglad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lunkannil Quafhoglad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lunkannil Quafhoglad.

3. Never feed garlic to gulls while wearing blue shorts.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.