Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, prudent dugong.

Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof, she will have a low opinion of you.

Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wabnulfitrigdublapquillgof's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not chop down trees.