Bimcussgon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating shark.

Bimcussgon created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcussgon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bimcussgon, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bimcussgon's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bimcussgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.