Xemsagnarqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciless hamster.

Xemsagnarqueeg created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemsagnarqueeg, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xemsagnarqueeg, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Xemsagnarqueeg's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Xemsagnarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Xemsagnarqueeg on top of all buildings.

2. Xemsagnarqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never skip in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Never talk about fire.