Pogwikzan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, amazing squid.

Pogwikzan created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogwikzan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pogwikzan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Pogwikzan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pogwikzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pogwikzan.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not eat bread.