Fatpigfon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable lobster.

Fatpigfon created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Fatpigfon, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fatpigfon, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fatpigfon's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fatpigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never feed onions to snails while wearing mauve shoes.

5. Do not chop down trees.