Gabartzig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful zebra.

Gabartzig created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gabartzig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gabartzig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gabartzig's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gabartzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Do not jump in public.