Sattamhasyatbetfas is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, kind squirrel.

Sattamhasyatbetfas created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sattamhasyatbetfas, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sattamhasyatbetfas, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sattamhasyatbetfas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sattamhasyatbetfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Sattamhasyatbetfas on top of important buildings.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always take life seriously.