Fetarmwon is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody wren.

Fetarmwon created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetarmwon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetarmwon, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fetarmwon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fetarmwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetarmwon.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never mention seals.