Cepkenvag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, generous beaver.

Cepkenvag created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepkenvag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cepkenvag, it will destroy your home planet.

Cepkenvag's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cepkenvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never write about gravity.