Pakbembonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving spider.

Pakbembonk created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pakbembonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pakbembonk, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Pakbembonk's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pakbembonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of rats.

2. Pakbembonk must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never feed apples to ants while wearing magenta scarves.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.