Kadgudkapgab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, wise centipede.

Kadgudkapgab created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgudkapgab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kadgudkapgab, she will turn you into a slug.

Kadgudkapgab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kadgudkapgab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kadgudkapgab.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never paint your feet cyan.

5. Never think about gravity.