Bemrilleg Tifbingod is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable dingo.

Bemrilleg Tifbingod created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bemrilleg Tifbingod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bemrilleg Tifbingod, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bemrilleg Tifbingod's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bemrilleg Tifbingod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bemrilleg Tifbingod.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the south.

5. Always help hamsters in need.