Zedjipfunwip is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, compassionate dryad.

Zedjipfunwip created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedjipfunwip, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedjipfunwip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Zedjipfunwip's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zedjipfunwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.