Tafflamyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, capable sheep.

Tafflamyarl created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafflamyarl, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tafflamyarl, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tafflamyarl's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tafflamyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed aubergines to nematodes while wearing magenta shirts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.