Tap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish bear.

Tap created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tap, she will turn you into a frog.

Tap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Tap three times a day.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always wear pink.