Tablim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, weak centipede.

Tablim created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tablim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tablim, she will not invite you to parties.

Tablim's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tablim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not sing in public.