Sitkopsit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet dryad.

Sitkopsit created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sitkopsit, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sitkopsit, she will turn you into a worm.

Sitkopsit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sitkopsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. You must love Sitkopsit.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Do not stand on grass.