Dimcuss Looprullvid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented troll.

Dimcuss Looprullvid created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimcuss Looprullvid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimcuss Looprullvid, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dimcuss Looprullvid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dimcuss Looprullvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Dimcuss Looprullvid loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Do not take Dimcuss Looprullvid's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.