Bitjipyok is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-powerful cow.

Bitjipyok created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitjipyok, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitjipyok, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bitjipyok's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bitjipyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Always help tapirs.