Kenzigfit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair gnu.

Kenzigfit created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Kenzigfit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kenzigfit, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kenzigfit's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kenzigfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. You must love Kenzigfit.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never wear violet boots.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.