Mumlipcat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident badger.

Mumlipcat created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumlipcat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumlipcat, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mumlipcat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Mumlipcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees in need.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mumlipcat.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Mumlipcat loves frogs, so they must be honoured.