Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, resourceful lobster.

Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Kimjigrigkinomtbitmap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.