Pagbestort is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful whale.

Pagbestort created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagbestort, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pagbestort, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Pagbestort's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Pagbestort's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pagbestort.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Retreat if nine hamsters approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the south.