Foncinlan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unselfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Foncinlan created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Foncinlan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Foncinlan, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Foncinlan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Foncinlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. You must pray to Foncinlan nine times a day.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.