Tincemhak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind beaver.

Tincemhak created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tincemhak, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tincemhak, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tincemhak's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tincemhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never bounce in the presence of turtles.

5. Fast once a month.