Zustpidpib is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental goose.

Zustpidpib created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zustpidpib, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zustpidpib, it will remove you from existence.

Zustpidpib's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zustpidpib's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.