Gadlamgess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane penguin.

Gadlamgess created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Gadlamgess, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gadlamgess, he will turn you into a rock.

Gadlamgess' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gadlamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gadlamgess' name in vain.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never laugh near whales.

4. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing green stockings.

5. Never look at black holes.