Cussbenteen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair giraffe.

Cussbenteen created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussbenteen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cussbenteen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cussbenteen's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cussbenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect three gold sculptures of Cussbenteen on top of important buildings.

3. Always obey Cussbenteen's priests.

4. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the north.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.