Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful guinea pig.

Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dotjancim Stigquagcettaf's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always pray immersed in water.