Lapdodflow is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, narcissistic fish.

Lapdodflow created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapdodflow, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lapdodflow, she will turn you into a duck.

Lapdodflow's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lapdodflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed bread to otters while wearing green hats.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.