Quagsaggad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating hyena.

Quagsaggad created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Quagsaggad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quagsaggad, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Quagsaggad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Quagsaggad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hide if five porpoises approach from the south.

5. Never go into gray rooms.