Nurtvintab is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unfair rhinoceros.

Nurtvintab created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvintab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurtvintab, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Nurtvintab's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nurtvintab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear brown skirts.