Gemvidtan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered crab.

Gemvidtan created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemvidtan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gemvidtan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gemvidtan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gemvidtan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gemvidtan's priests.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.