Rutpop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical fish.

Rutpop created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Rutpop, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Rutpop, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rutpop's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Rutpop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray doves, for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not stand on grass.