Yimpig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, humorless lizard.

Yimpig created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yimpig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yimpig, he will turn you into a slug.

Yimpig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Yimpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Worship no other gods but Yimpig.