Bigbagtan Sandissnig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented otter.

Bigbagtan Sandissnig created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigbagtan Sandissnig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bigbagtan Sandissnig, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bigbagtan Sandissnig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bigbagtan Sandissnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Bigbagtan Sandissnig loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help ducks in need.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.