Queegmiptig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, calm gorilla.

Queegmiptig created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegmiptig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Queegmiptig, it will curse you with boils.

Queegmiptig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Queegmiptig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Queegmiptig.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Do not laugh in public.