Bafdabdut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet turtle.

Bafdabdut created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Bafdabdut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bafdabdut, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bafdabdut's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bafdabdut's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.