Japcabgon is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring aardvark.

Japcabgon created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Japcabgon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Japcabgon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Japcabgon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Japcabgon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing gray jumpers.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.