Tikyarlgov is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical snake.

Tikyarlgov created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikyarlgov, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tikyarlgov, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tikyarlgov's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tikyarlgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Never think ill of sick otters.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.